by Gregg Chamberlain
“Absolutely not!” roared Yob-Soloth. “I forbid it!”
Ten eyes swiveled on their stalks to glare down at the object of the Elder God’s wrath.
“I don’t care!” screeched Yag-Soloth. “He summoned me. I answered.”
A dreamy look spread across the Elder Godling’s quivering eyes. “We bonded. It was wonderful. We’re soulmates!”
“You’re WHAT?” Yob-Soloth raised his squamous body to its full towering height. “No spawn of mine is going to conjugate with a…HUMAN! Go to your plane, and don’t manifest until I say so! Not for an eon at least!”
“I HATE YOU!” Yag-Soloth shrieked before vanishing.
“My own sprog consorting with a human!” moaned Yob-Soloth, pseudopods flailing against the aether. “Oh, the shame of it. How will I ever face the Nigguraths and Haggoths at the next conflagration?”
The Elder God paused, eyes flaming bright at a sudden thought. “Unless I put a stop to this right now, before anyone else finds out. Yes! I’ll track down this human defiler of my offspring and obliviate him! There’s no other way! Otherwise, I’ll be shunned in all the infernal circles that matter, never to appear in the pantheon again. I can already hear that oh-so-superior-I-Rule-for-All-Eternity Cthulhu, giggling through his tentacles in his sleep in R’lyeh.”
Yob-Soloth waved a pseudopod in a complicated eldritch pattern. “Pray to whatever gods will listen, human,” he rumbled. “I’ll teach you to bond with my spawn!”
The Elder God vanished. Silence reigned in the netherverse. Save for a faint tittering giggle.